Comic Book Zeitgeist by Caleb Lyons

Loaded Bible 2: Blood Of Christ (Image Comics)

If you haven’t picked up the first Loaded Bible one-shot yet, this book may be a bit hard to really get into. Personally, as I often make it abundantly clear, I’ve got a huge chip on my should in the shape of the Catholic Church, stemming from time spent in Poland (while wearing a yamulkah). Needless to say, it was not a good experience, and it means that I’ll usually buy any religiously satirical comic i can get my hands on, and this and the previous Loaded Bible were no exception.

Making it quick, the book is about a clone of Jesus who just found out he was as such, not the real second coming, who fights vampires in an apocalyptic future while protecting the last humans who live in an ultra-catholic domed city. Sounds hokey, maybe, but writer Tim Seeley pulls it off pretty well.

Seeley really wants to become one of those creators i follow religiously. He just released the Hack/Slash continuing series, which i liked the first issue of enough to buy one of the series’ trades, and he’s steadily releasing more thought-provoking, funny and sharp material as time goes on.

I love this one shot, just as i love it’s predecessor. It was delayed a ton of times, as indicated by the and I wanted it to be as tight and flawless as Loaded Bible was, but it just didn’t deliver as smoothly as i wanted. The first LB was the best one-shot I’d read in years, but the sequel suffers from simple scripting problems, almost as if it wasn’t edited properly. The wording and the breaking up of dialog in bubbles reads very shoddy and seriously wounds the book’s otherwise original & playful core Catholic satire. Let me score out an example, this is word for word from the book, for copyright purposes:

Lilith, The First Vampire (who was brilliantly modeled after a Homo Habilis): “If we do the same to all these humans, they will be gone, along with their blood this world will recover.”

See what i mean? I got what we was saying, but i had to read it over a dozen times, and even then wasn’t sure i got what he was trying to make her say. It’s a great book, but the phrasing fucked it up for me, because it was prevalent and slowed down the pace. I look forward to Loaded Bible 3, when and if it comes, i just think it’ll need a proof reading first.

Chronicles of Wormwood (Avatar Press)

This is the best new comic book to come out in the last year, and it’s not just that I’m a sucker for any book that takes shots at the pope. It’s brilliant, downright hilarious political/religious satire mixed with original and creative views of religion, God, death, life and the afterlife. Every page is littered with nuggets of Garth Ennis’ best writing to date, and they are graced with the amazing art of Jacen Burrows, who makes the book burst alive.

What I love about comics is that you can say and do anything the writer/artist team wants and very likely get away with it a whole lot easier than in any other medium. Here Ennis, whose made more lewd, crude sexually based jokes in his work than in Opie & Anthony’s entire collective career in Boston radio, does a great job of making use of his lifelong skills as a writer and making bold statements with them. The chance to see an Aussie pope force nuns to indulge his morbid sexual fantasies is hilarious and just strange enough to make you wonder what message is behind it. Again, it’s an amazing book and i say pick up every issue you can find of it: Comic book gold.

Gutsville (Image Comics)

I was wicked excited for the release of Gutsville because it’s an original idea (“A non-superhero book? Do tell!”) that’s written by a guy I’ve never heard of before (Simon Spurrier: a 2000AD guy) and it’s penciled by the talented Frazer Irving. The last thing i recall Irving pencilling was called “Klarion: The Witch-Boy,” a mini series scribed by Grant Morrison in his fairly well executed 7 Soldiers maxi-series. I couldn’t help but notice the similarities between the 2 books: how they both involve nutty christian, Puritan-esque societies which were forcibly cut off from the outer world, resulting in an ultra-repressive bible thumping culture.

The plot in this book is a group of humans, calling themselves the Jonahkin, are swallowed up by a sea monster ages ago, and now have formed a city in the belly of said beast. From there, the book explores this unlikely world, it’s setting and it’s strange, oppressive people. This is all done wonderfully well, and should make Marvel grab it’s genitals in impotence.

The dress from both book is interchangeable, but the plots do differ greatly and the dialog more than makes up for it. Tremendously well written, historically well-said, and even sharply witty, the writing locks perfectly into the fresh art by Irving, which is beautiful, vibrant, distinctly his own. Top it off with the nice cut of bonus material in the end, and that makes Gutsville the best book I picked up that week.

That was everything, y’all. Please do the comment thing, and check back soon.

Changes are coming….wooo…..

Today i went to Renaissance fair with my girlfriend and her family. In all honest, with the exception of Showtime’s “The Tudors,” I find the whole time period barbaric and overtly macabre in it’s Catholic following. But i figured nothing ventured, nothing gained and drove the fam’ anyway, and boy was it a mistake.

Before i go off (and Lord will I…) I want to say that the reasoning behind this entry isnt simple venting; If i wanted to jerk myself off, I’d have created a site showboating that instead. Rather, I wanted to make a venue for me to share information and opinions with an audience. If that audience’s numbers are bigger in my head than reality, so be it. Welcome to the blogosphere, right?

The fair was shite, and worse, the website for it was much misleading. What they listed as “tavern” was a booth where a guy served no beer (that and the mead were nextdoor in the “pub” barn) and all they had were over-salted turkey legs and some other crap that passed for food.

The worst thing was the people. I’d say roughly 70% of those there were:

1) Fat to the extent that they had what i call the “ass-in-the-front/duck” shape,

2) Walked around with fake swords in preparation for a “boffing” tournament and
3) Were sweating like the plague killed the next village over.

In retrospect, don’t go to one of these fairs unless you damn well know it’s enjoyable. I wasted my last 10 bucks and my whole damn Sunday going to this thing, and even my gf’s seasoned history loving family thought it was crap. Glorified dress up festivals are a waste of one’s time, and everyone of those crappy minstrels should have been shot…

So i read this free comic called The Umbrella Academy, which it trying so damn hard at being a “super-team” book it’s laughable, and while i loved the cover by James Jean (Check it out below or here) and i love the art by Gabiel Ba, but the comic it’s self sucks. Why is that? Well, it was written by a guy named Gerard Way. Who the fuck is Gerard Way, right?

Y’ever heard of a shitty band called My Chemical Romance? It’s some of that faux-goth horse shit that passes for music today, hell even Blender called their latest album “perfect,” but what can one expect from Maxim’s stab at a music mag?

Dumb unappealing/unoriginal characters who are bound together by the fact that they’re adopted wards of some mysterious rich guy. Glad i got it for free, because I’d pay for a rusty ice cream scoop up my ass before i would EVER pay for this shit.

100 Bullets was highly usual for what i can expect from the book: confusing plot centered around side characters with beautiful art, in exotic locations. Risso is one of those artists who i’ll buy anything they pencil, even if it was written by like David Goyer’s untalented-yet-strangely-popular ass. He always plays with shadow and light in a real way, and I’ll be damned if every page of 100 Bullets isn’t always jaw-dropingly flawless.

Midnighter was nice and unconventional, which is what i like from Brian K Vaughan, and Astonishing X-Men was Joss-esque.

Here are the covers to all the books i reviewed: